For a limited time only! Flame Retardant Suit

Published on August 25, 2004 By Ravenblack In Humor

FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!!!

Tired of getting burned? Topic slipping out of your hands? Don't know how many more hits you can take?

Introducing The Flame-Retardant Suit! The only suit you'll ever need to wear when travelling the rough and unpreditable uncharted cyberspace terrain known as the Internet Forum!

Components of the Flame Retardant Suit

Flame resistant Helmet of hard headness - resist hard knocks to your logic centre. They are coming down on you, so you'd better watch your head. Feel the urge to bang your head against the wall, now with the new Helmet of hard headness you can do so without hurting yourself! (Comes with optional face shield.)

Anti-backdown Vest - think they can mow you down by shooting at you collectively? Never fear, wear this anti-backdown vest and you can stand up to the worst blasting anybody can give you. Hell no, you won't go! In addition, the suit also prevents you from getting backstabbed or sideswiped. You never know which direction they might come at you! (free size.)

Flame resistant Steel Boots: kick those pesky trolls out of your thread without hurting your foot. These boots also allow you to walk over any sharp remarks and flames. Covers any topic terrains.

Anti-threadburn Gloves - climbing to the peak of the community. Handle threads like a pro and get yourself to the top. Those threads can give you nasty threadburns if you should slide down due to a misplaced step. Now there's no need to fear, with extra tough extra good-grip Anti-threadburn Gloves, not only can you hold on but you will also be able to get back to climbing the ranks without pain.

Special offer!!! If you order now!!!

Dictionary - Now you can be linguistically superior! Destroy your opponent's argument by tearing it to its grammatic components. Rip bad spelling right down to its heart. Result: Credibility of your opponent destroyed! If he can't spell, he can't hurt you!

(Each part sold separately, user must be intelligent.)

Comments

Texas Wahine

on Aug 25, 2004

Raven: This is fantastic!

!!! I'd like to place my order right away!

SSG Geezer

on Aug 25, 2004

Please send me a 42 regular. Do you ship COD??
In light of what has been happening amongst a few of the hard core
of users here at JU, a suit like this might be useful.

I just hope when I send a spark i don't create or add to a bonfire.

Angloesque

on Aug 25, 2004

Can I be your business partner? I see good money here....

BlueDev

on Aug 25, 2004

Now that was a good read Ravenblack! I will take one of each, but can I get a little intelligence to go as well?

Gideon MacLeish

on Aug 25, 2004

I'll take two...I might need backup after this round...lol

Ravenblack

on Aug 25, 2004

*grinz* Orders noted. Orders will be sent out on reciept of payment.

Angloesque: >>Can I be your business partner? I see good money here....

Cool, I could have you promote my upcoming products. Like the Ban-M4ever Spray - gets rid of slime, character smears and other nasty sticky stains.

BlueDev: >>but can I get a little intelligence to go as well?

Unfortunately, we cannot sell products that might make us go out of business. (oops did I say that?)

Angloesque

on Aug 25, 2004

Heh, does the Ban-M4ever spray come in colors....say, black?

You = clever.

Ravenblack

on Aug 26, 2004

>> Heh, does the Ban-M4ever spray come in colors....say, black?

It comes in range of all forum compatible colors.

mignuna

on Aug 26, 2004

hi raven.

this is funny stuff, i needed a laugh this morning after my dog puked on the carpet !

for you:

vanessa/mig XX

BlueDev

on Aug 26, 2004

Unfortunately, we cannot sell products that might make us go out of business. (oops did I say that?)

Shucks. Well, better cancel my order than as I don't have the appropriate system requirements.

Ravenblack

on Aug 26, 2004

>> i needed a laugh this morning after my dog puked on the carpet !

Oh dear, Mignuna!

Thanks for the flowers, that smiley is soooo cute!

>.BlueDev
>>... I don't have the appropriate system requirements.

I don't believe you.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!